I never would have thought...

I never would have thought….

… a day would come when I wouldn’t fit in my favorite black trouser. That I would need to have it repaired for the second time, undo the seams and readjust the waistline. I’ve gained a bit of flesh… and it brings a liberating feeling that after long years of trying to gain weight, I finally did it!!! (no offense to those people trying to do the opposite).

… I would wake one day and that person who was once very familiar and was a part of my being would be a complete stranger… that delving into the past would mean deepening my faith and enlarging my heart for people.

… I could enjoy menial thing as playing farmer in the Farm Town over Facebook.

… I could strike up a repartee with a complete stranger taking the same lift up to the office where I work. Small talk that is… such a big deal in the real estate industry… so much so that one should know the right thing to say while waiting in a queue or sitting in a government office or having meetings with clients who are seemingly knowledgeable about zillion things under the sun. Being one of the privileged Filipina managers in order a culturally-diverse city as Dubai, I always feel the pressure to gain lyrical dexterity so as to carry out decent and sensible small talks otherwise, I would get totally drowned in a sea of white and high-bridge-nosed people babbling nonsense right into my face.. Good thing I stand about 5’7”… something most foreigners think twice about if I’m a Filipina or a half breed. One Pakistani guy even argued he was speaking to a British lady and not a Filipina over the phone (courtesy of the fake British accent I’ve learned from my officemates hahaha). It was I you were speaking with.. How would I be here for the meeting in the first place??? Duh!!!.. Later on he became on of the few good friends I made in the industry.

… carrying bayong and studying trees, forest and all other things related, for 4 plus plus years and topping the board exam (konti lang po), would end up sitting in a real estate company’s office 5 years later.

…. One day I would appreciate these quotations more than ever:

Somewhere between heartaches and waiting is the chance to be found by someone who will make you feel that you are not just an option but a CHOICE…

"Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away." By George Eliot.

… I would be able to learn how to drive, much more have my own “tsikot” (hulugan po J) and despite being a navigationally-challenged driver that I am, go to places whenever I want. I wish my parents could come to Dubai so I could take them to places and brag about how good I can drive now. Hahahaha…

… a farmer’s kid born from the once Rice Granary of Asia could do without rice in her meals. I remember I would always feel hungry no matter how much food I shove down my throat unless there’s rice involve… It must be an Asian thing.. or it must just be ME.

… I could set foot in places like Korea, China, and Africa.. very soon…Europe, hopefully next year… places I fell in love with and am still loving until today.

…. That at 31, I would still be single and enjoying it!!! I got this line from a friend… “that this age is magical..” I don’t believe in magic, but I do believe in miracles…

… My heart would ache again for the nations…


... I could change… for the better.